Feeling Everything: What My Nervous System Is Teaching Me
Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it means to feel a lot - especially in a world that feels so loud, fast, and often devastating.
In my work, I sit with individuals, and communities navigating trauma, grief, anxiety, burnout, disconnection. I also read the news, hold space for family, try to show up as a parent, and make creative offerings that feel authentic. Some weeks it all feels beautifully meaningful. Other weeks… it’s just a lot.
Some days, working in this world feels like walking, like Ariadne, through a labyrinth - holding a thread in one hand, listening for the next right step.
I’ve come to realise that for me, the thread has always been sensitivity. It’s what helps me navigate trauma & social justice with compassion, listen to others, and respond with care. It’s also what leaves me raw, exhausted, and easily overwhelmed.
But what if the thread isn’t the problem? What if it’s the guide?
This blog is for all of us who feel deeply. For the ones who cry easily, laugh loudly, burn out, come back, and try again. For the neurodivergent, the anxious, the creative, the caregivers, the tender-hearted. For those trying to show up in a world that too often demands we shut down.
The Vagus Nerve: A Simple Guide to a Complex Ally
The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body - and one of the most powerful pathways for regulation. It helps mediate our social engagement system, our rest-and-digest state, and our ability to shift from survival into presence.
Polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges, tells us that the vagus nerve isn’t just about relaxation - it’s about connection. It plays a key role in how safe we feel with others and in the world. The theory breaks down the autonomic nervous system into three main states:
Ventral Vagal (Safe & Social) – where we feel grounded, connected, curious, and open
Sympathetic (Fight or Flight) – where we feel mobilised, anxious, or angry
Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown/Freeze) – where we feel numb, collapsed, or withdrawn
We move fluidly between these states all day - but if we’ve lived with chronic stress, trauma, or disconnection, our system may get stuck in survival mode.
Here’s the key insight:
We can’t think our way back into regulation.
We need body-based cues of safety - like breath, sound, gentle pressure, and connection.
Simple Trauma-Informed, Neuro-Affirming Practices
You don’t need a wellness subscription to support your nervous system.
You just need tiny moments of attunement and connection:
Long, slow exhales (3–5 seconds longer than your inhale)
Gentle humming or sighing (stimulates vagal tone)
Cupping warm tea or using heat packs (soothing for sensory systems)
Pressure of a weighted blanket or a beautiful hug
Naming your inner state without trying to change it
Gentle movement such as rocking, slow walking and stretching
Knowing when to opt out from loud rooms, small talk, or the scrolling void
These aren’t life hacks. They’re acts of care.
And guess what is one of the most powerful regulators? Another regulated nervous system. We’re wired for connection as a healing force. Eye contact, presence, and attuned conversation can calm the whole system.
Letting someone witness you with warmth, or offering that presence to someone else, stimulates the ventral vagal pathway. It reminds the body, “I am not alone. I am safe enough to soften.”
So finally, if you feel really deeply… there’s nothing wrong with how you’re wired.
Your nervous system may be a little loud, a little tender, a little dramatic. But maybe that’s what makes you alive. And maybe the point isn’t to be “normal” - it’s to be aware. To be kind. To be awake in the system you’ve got.